Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Car Ride from He**

Saturday evening Grandma was gracious enough to take the little guys for the night so Dan and I could get out on our own and have a little break. It was a lovely evening spent in the old truck, walking along the car show and enjoying the quiet that comes when you don't have children screaming "I want..." "I need to go potty", "I'm hungry" or whatever else.

Sunday morning we drove to pick Grandma and boys up to head down to the Southern part of the state to a dance competition. We were in for about an hour and a half of drive time. Grandma and Dad are in the front, I am in the middle row with two boys with Tori and her friend in the back row when we start on our way.

We are chatting and laughing, enjoying a nice, sunny morning drive in the middle of corn fields and farms spread througout the vast areas around us. Suddenly Nick starts to hunch down and tell me his tummy hurts. Uh Oh! He seems ok and I give him some Goldfish crackers to help ease his tummy as I am sure that this is because he is hungry since he wanted to wait for breakfast. Nope! More whining "my tummy hurts" while hunkered down in his booster seat prompts my helpless shouts to the front for Dad to quickly get to a bathroom. This is when "the look" comes like "are you kidding me woman?". There were no bathrooms within about a 10 mile radius. So...I look, shrug and tell him to pull to the side of the highway and here begins the funniest part of the drive from hell.

I grab Nick out of his booster seat and am working to get us both out of the truck on a very steep ditch surrounded by corn fields. I am praying that we've made it in time because the smell...well it made me think we hadn't! Thank goodness it was just gas!

I began pulling shorts and underwear off frantically knowing if I didn't there would be a larger mess than I cared to deal with seeing as the three year old knows nothing about going potty anywhere but in the actual potty! Soon Dan comes walking around the back of the truck to assist. He is holding Nick up so I can pull shorts over sandals. Then Dan proceeds to help the boy into "position" so he can, shall we say...take a load off! I am retrieving baby wipes from the diaper bag in the truck at this point. I close the door to turn around only to find that Dan is gagging. I thought maybe he had overcome this issue but not so much. He is full fledged gagging. I begin laughing hysterically...to the point that I have to sit on the side of the truck to avoid wetting my pants because I can't stop laughing/crying at Dan gagging while holding Nick's naked bottom half in the air for me to clean up!

I somehow managed to get myself under control, clean Nick up, get him into a pull-up and back into his shorts, buckled and on the road again. Thank goodness!

I can only imagine what fun it would have been had Nick actually crapped his pants, I would have peed my pants laughing and poor Dan would have actually thrown up!

This was quite a ride! Thankfully Tori won Diamond and first for her dance routine!

2 comments:

  1. I think it's hilarious how many men/dads gag at the sight/smell/sound of their kids bowel movements. I was one of those women who swore she'd never have kids because of just that type of thing, but somehow, as soon as I had my first, that squeamishness started to disappear.

    Glad you managed to stop in time!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously funny "sh*!" pardon the pun! My goodness...reminds me of Mo when you came out here! We should just have hoses somehow attached to our vehicles!!

    Gotta love these memories...

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Perez Party of Eight

Daniel

Daniel
The final addition

Nick

Nick
The Monster Man

Libby

Libby
The mischevious one

Morgan

Morgan
The story teller

Tori

Tori
The sensitive one

Maryah - The Champ

Maryah - The Champ
My amazing and beautiful daughter who I will miss every moment for the rest of my life

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Perez Party of Eight