But...I want to wave to you!

Inevitably the day will come when my two little guys won't feel the need to wave to me any longer. This morning as Nick and Libby were walking down the driveway and off to the school bus my heart sank. Nick asked just before they left if I would wave to him when he left. He asks me this every morning and every morning my answer is the same, "of course!". It's the absolute best part of my day when Nick wants to wave.

As he stopped every five feet to look back and wave to me, blow me an occasional kiss, my eyes were welling up. I couldn't help but to remember that this will end some day soon and he'll be running down the driveway, hopping in the car and taking off with his buddies or worse yet, his girl friend!

Danny and Nick came later in my life and I can't tell you just how much I appreciate the little things such as hugs, waves, blowing kisses and the need for a hug that will fix every boo boo. All of our kids are Daddy's except Danny who seems to have clung to me (for a bit anyway). It's the best feeling in the world when your little ones want "mama do it". Of course it can be horribly damn irritating also when they refuse to let any one touch them or help them and scream in fits of tantrum until "mama do it". Even then I don't wish for them to grow up or out of these sweet times.

I have ranted and raved about my boys and how...well...absolutely freaking horrible they can be. They can drive me to wish for bed time three hours early and want to run from the house, drive away and scream my brains out. They fight, they nit pick, they bicker, they are gross, they pick their nose, the older one pees on the toilet, the younger one refuses to pee anywhere but his diaper. They are GROSS! They are dirty, they are noisy, they are mess making trolls!

The moment they ask me for a second hug or Danny wants to hold my hand or cuddle with me it's all gone. All of the horrendous behavior is gone, just like that. The magic of children. God made us forget the pain of labor, the horrible behavior the messes and the fighting just for moments like this so he could show us just how blessed we are.

My guys are pretty awesome and I am one blessed mama!

Can't wait for school to be over so I can wave!

Boy! Blogging? Who has the time?

Coming here and sharing thoughts, ideas, funny moments, sad moments...I sure needed a break. As much as I love to write and to share I have found it rather difficult to find the time to do so. Ideas run through my head all the time but finding the time to sit down and put them on paper or in a blog has been near impossible. However, with that being said I am so glad I have this avenue to do all of the above as I feel this is the best therapy I could find for myself!

Three years ago I remember talking with Dan and talking about our "three year plan". Nick was going to start kindergarten (no more daycare costs) and Dan would begin looking for a job that isn't so tough on the bod (you know we are getting older and the aches and pains come more often). It's funny I remember feeling that relief for a fleeting moment and then...I found out I was pregnant with Danny, about two months pregnant with Danny... that was a shocker!

So here we are now, three years later (NO! I am not pregnant again!) and Nick is starting kindergarten and we are looking at a new three year plan when Danny will be finishing daycare, Tori will begin college, Morgan will begin high school and we will be moving right along?! Right?!?! Somehow I think planning is a mistake! Why, do you ask? Well the track record hasn't been so great!

Speaking of Nick and Kindergarten I am praying to GOD that he is ready. I keep thinking he should be and we've prepared him well and then he pees all over the toilet and the floor and/or he doesn't wipe very well (how do I know? I WASH THE UNDERWEAR), he runs around screaming like a wild man and he can't seem to sit still. I feel so for his teacher. We are feeling positive that he got the teacher we hoped for. She is young, she has high energy and she goes to our church...she's a Christian so she'll forgive us right? LOL I  sure hope so or Danny is in trouble when he gets to school.
I know there are many parents who hold their children back but honestly I am a firm believer in children being sponges and the earlier they begin to learn more they CAN take it in and retain it...just as soon as they stop climbing on tables and chairs and putting various small toys and food items in their noses!

This year we will be venturing into the new world of junior high, kindergarten, a toddler going to daycare for the first time without big brother and FOUR days a week of dance...hahaha! I would like to share with you that babies, diapers, formula, waking up at night sometimes more than once is a breeze compared to raising teens and tweens. If you thought it was expensive and time consuming in the beginning...watch out! School starts on Tuesday and I am quite certain I have already spent every dime to my name and written out about a dozen different checks, stuffed cash into half a dozen envelopes and filled out every form known to man. We have exactly one week to get our groove with school and homework before the dance craze begins...whew! I am tired just writing about it.

Did I mention I am getting older?! It's amazing the aches and pains, loss of great eye sight, etc that come with age. I totally thought my sister and brother were making that shit up to scare me! NOT!
It's okay, I am still the baby of the family and I enjoy reminding them of this because in doing so it makes me feel, for just  a fleeting moment that I am not so old after all! (Sorry Greg and Joanne that you are both so old).

Today is September 1st and it is the beginning of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month (the color is gold). I am remembering my baby girl and how she would have started college this year. Last spring when CDH presented us with her diploma at graduation I thought I would simply disappear I was so sad. I have since renewed my strength and drive to fight this beast and to continue helping Children's Lighthouse to open the first Children's Hospice and Respite Center in the Midwest. It will happen, it must. Our children and their families deserve this space and this care.

So, summer is coming to an end and I know I won't be back to write for awhile but I wanted to share some of the happenings of Perez Party of Eight and wish you all a wonderful school year!  I hope to find some humor in the chaos to share here again! Enjoy some of our pictures from our summer vacation with my sissy and family!

Inspiration

Yes, I am here. On my blog. With nothing to write. I have had a block for a very long time. I can't seem to find anything that inspires me to write. There is that thing I call life but sometimes it just seems so crazy...all of it!

We have had several months of rearranging our family schedules. Kids that used to go to another parent for part of week no longer do, kids that still go to another parent are missed even more. The boys are growing and beginning to test my nerves at every turn. Work seems to be getting busier for me and slower for Dan which means more stress for and less money for the bills (Dan's work is production based).

Danny will be two in a month and a half and he is still refusing to talk using words just loud grunts, screams and pointing to things. I wonder if he will ever talk and by the way I've discovered he is completely pig headed! He bites and hits when he's pissed and he's smart as hell so he knows exactly what everyone is saying to him but whether he chooses to pay you any attention is a decision he has decided is only his own!

Nick will be joining the ranks of Kindergartners everywhere in the fall so we are filling out endless paperwork, getting ready for kindergarten informational nights at school and the unending questions of "will I have a backpack?" "will I take the bus?" "will I ride the bus with the girls?" "will I have a teacher?" and the fear that I have suddenly come into with my own questions of "will he finally learn to zipper his coat?", "will he remember to go to the bathroom and when he does will he piss all over everywhere like he does at home?" "will he run his mouth non-stop in class all day and will they finally come and ask me to take him out of the school because he won't shut the hell up?" I've never had kindergarten anxiety with any of my kids but suddenly when Nick is about to go? I'm freaked right the hell out!

The girls are all seemingly getting along well but you know what happens when you think that's the case...there is underlying bitterness because one gets away with something the other doesn't think is fair. Parents are idiots and we don't treat one or the other fairly depending on what we have done for them that day. They are beginning to get into some of the things I would expect teen, tween, and pre-ad girls to get into...bickering, snide remarks under their breath or written in a journal, accusations of how parents are horrible and just don't know how they feel and make all kinds of UNFAIR ASSUMPTIONS! I truly think they must think we (parents) are the dumbest assholes on Earth. On the good side they seem to be learning (at least somewhat) that they are expected to clean up after themselves, help out around the house and at least act like they give a damn about anything. However, I am still unsure how one human being can spend several hours cleaning and organizing a bedroom only to turn it in to a post-hurricane disaster within 24 hours after said cleaning spree! OMG! It makes me want to dig my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon!

Marriage is a daily challenge just in trying to stay awake past 9:00 p.m. to engage in conversation. Dates when you have five kids are few and far in between and it's always a challenge to have any type of exchange of thoughts/words when the boys are around because it's like a non-stop wrestling match or roller derby going on around you at all times.

I used to be one of those moms that needed to clean my house regularly, pick up everything so it was neat and tidy every night. This included vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning toilets, etc....HELL NO! Who in their right mind has time for that shit? I can barely keep up cooking and cleaning the kitchen and remembering to feed/water the dog (although the kids are slowly remembering that she is their dog too and they even feed her once in awhile).

Such is life right? It will never be easy and no one ever promised fair. I don't expect that it wil get easier before it gets a little bit harder! So until a time when I miss the kids, the noise, the messes, the laughter, the craziness sorely I will put a smile on daily, thank my lucky stars that I am so blessed and keep trying to find inspiration in the craziness to write.

I'm still stuck in my book writing mode: You Can't Make This Shit Up!

Happy Friday!