A Geo Metro, Grace and and a Chubby Chef in Training

We have had an inoperable golf cart in our garage for quite some time. Dan has had great intentions of making it operable but little to no time to get that project going. So finally, Dan decided he was going to get online and find himself an old Geo Metro in the classifieds and salvage the engine so he could turn this golf cart into a street ready hot rod (okay well not really).

The idea was to turn this battery operated golf cart into a gas powered golf cart, give it tail lights, signals and all those things you would need to have on a street if it were dark out. The reasoning behind this is he wants this golf cart to be our new Halloween mobile. Since he paints vehicles for a living he intends to paint the now canary yellow golf cart black and airbrush some spiders, bats and other cool creepy halloween things on it. Eventually it is what we will use to cart our kids around the neighborhood on Halloween night for trick-or-treating. Let me tell you the kids (and Dan) are nothing short of pumped for this thing to be done but...it takes time and we still had to find an engine.

Last fall Dan found a really inexpensive Geo Metro. One night after work we ventured with the boys to a REALLY rough part of Minneapolis and found the address we were looking for.

In between two other condemned duplex houses was a very shabby, falling apart duplex kitty corner from where I was watching a drug deal take place and surrounded by people that would normally make me run the other direction in day light or dark. Dan proceeded to get out and go to the door. I decided to sit in the back of the truck with the boys in their car seats (why I didn't pick the drivers seat with the car running is beyond me).

Dan disappeared into one of the doors of the duplex and then we sat, and we sat, and we sat. When I began thinking that someone had killed him dead, stolen the cash from his pocket and left him there I began to panic and thought about getting out and getting to the front seat to grab my cell phone and call him (again, not sure why I didn't have the phone with me already). It was then I realized that I couldn't get out because the child locks were on and I was so wedged into the door by the two car seats that I couldn't really move. I sat for a few more minutes watching several more drug deals on the corner and being completely scared for our lives. Dan finally came out and told me he made the deal and that we had to pull around to the alley to get the car on the car dolly. The alley? Really? Ok, let's go to the alley!

So we go to the alley and there is 75lb Grace, the woman who sold Dan the car and we have to get this thing onto the dolly. Dan gets in this car which is FAR too small for my 6'4" husband. Grace (75lbs) and me (a few more lbs) begin pushing this thing while Dan steers to get it on the dolly. HA, yeah right! So while we make several unsuccessful attempts at this Grace is telling me that her son is upstairs making her a birthday dinner. She explains he is a chef in training and I am picturing this scrawny guy whipping up some merengue or something. She then describes him as a 275+ lb guy and I'm all wondering "so why the hell isn't HE out here pushing this car instead of you since you might drop dead at any moment". Finally the son comes downstairs and he gives one shove and the car is on the dolly! WOOOHOOOO!!!!! Grace and the big boy went in after a quick exchange of courtesies.

This is when the shit really hit the fan! Dan decided it was a good idea to pull the car onto a flat surface to get the tie downs on? Even saying this I am wondering how in God's name he thought this was a good plan and I warned him, I really did but I trusted he knew something about a car dolly and it's magic hold on a car even when said car is not tied down so I went with it. Then it happened...the car rolled off the dolly and I stood there wondering how we would ever get big boy back downstairs after his very kind willingness to come down and offer his help before (aka: Grace yells COME DOWN HERE WE CAN'T GET THIS THING ON)!

Dan and I stood staring at the tragedy for a few moments before we looked around us and saw some of the locals walking down the alley, others standing out on their back steps having a domestic (yes, I mean a true domestic) and Nick sitting in his car seat groaning "I'm hungry, I want some french fries". This was bad, really bad.

So we pushed, and pushed and pushed and pushed. Grace and the big boy were NOT coming back out, the domestic was getting louder and a little scary, the locals were eyeing the truck every time they walked by like they might try to hop in and take off even though we were just 10 feet away. We pushed that thing until we were both about to die. It was when Nick started to yell louder "I'm HUNGRY, I WANT FRENCH FRIES" that Dan hopped up on the dolly started pulling the car with me pushing from the back end that we managed to get that Geo Metro onto the dolly and pull a shoulder and a lower back muscle. It's funny how all the scary things happening around you aren't near as motivating as your child becoming increasingly annoying about his demanding hunger!

We got that bitch tied down and we were outta there (almost two hours later). Nick got dinner and we had this amazing piece of shit in our driveway that would soon be cut into small pieces and thrown away to reveal the ENGINE!

As I write, Dan is out mounting said engine to the golf cart in hopes that he can get this project done for Halloween. In the end it will all be worth it but at that moment...I would have left the car and the cash and ran for my life without looking back even for a second. It was a pretty funny scene and leaves me chuckling each time I remember.