Where O' Where Have You Gone?

This past week my daughter had a program at school where they presented their State projects in their classroom and then proceeded to the "commons" where they performed the song "Fifty Nifty United States". This was some performance might I add. I love attending programs for my kids at school. It's always a good reminder that they will not always be this young and certainly will not always be so excited when I show my face in their school.

During the program Morgan came to me and asked if I would talk to one of her new friend's mom about a sleepover this weekend. It was really too late even if I had wanted to say "no" because the mom was within ear shot of us now and I had no choice. This is fine however since I was going to be having a girls night with my dear friends and I wouldn't be home to enjoy her company any how. One less kid for Dan to feed and take care of while I was out. So, I proceeded to approach the mom whom I had never met. Everything was fine, I looked past the fact that she smelled of stale cigarette smoke, I looked past the fact that her husband looked like a complete creeper. I should have trusted my better judgment.
Let me preface the rest of this post with the note that my children couldn't care less that I write a blog and will not read this so I do not fear that the other child will get word of my "judgments" and I am absolutely certain after this weekend that the mom I am referring to will not know how to find this blog on the internet.

I am certain that upon reading this any mom I know would understand and appreicate my rant about basic parenting skills here today.

So, on with the story. I agreed to a sleepover and giving this mother a chance before making my mind up so quickly. She came to pick up Morgan at our house Friday evening. Upon leaving the house and walking down the drive I could hear her talking about the movies she rented which included Justin Beiber and The Roomate. I yelled after Morgan reminding her that she is NOT allowed to watch R rated movies and so thinking the mother would take heed at that point. She continued walking gave me a quick smile and wave when I yelled again to remind Morgan to call me right when she got there so I had the telephone number on the caller id for Dan and I. I also reminded her to call me at 9:00 a.m. Saturday so we could arrange a pick up in the morning. The mom and Morgan assured me these two things would happen.

Now, the evening comes and goes and Morgan hasn't called. I am silly enough to have let her go without getting the number written down before they left (I had an Electrician in the house and a few other balls in the air so I trusted the ten year old to do my job for me - never again)!
The next morning there is no phone call, not at 9:00 a.m., not at 10:00 a.m, no not at 11:00 a.m. either. This is when we needed to leave to meet Dan's family for lunch. We proceeded to lunch thinking "she'll call my cell phone when she doesn't get through", only the call never came. At 1:00 p.m. I had to have my husband try and recall from a past b-day party where this girl's mother lived. Thankfully he did and we went to retrieve our daughter.

I had to ask Dan to go in and get her since I was steaming by the time we got there. First of all what was MORGAN thinking? Next...what in the hell was this mother thinking!?!?!?! Any one of my children's friends comes to spend the night and they are both going to call as their parents have asked them to and if their parents didn't ask them to I am going to make them call home to check in by 9:00 a.m. anyway! This is just common, parenting 101 right? Am I crazy? Isn't this just courtesy?

When Dan and Morgan emerged and they both stunk of cigarette smoke and Dan had a look of shock on his face it was then I decided that all the experts are correct. If you do not know what type of environment your children's friends live in...FIND OUT! The mother left her daughter and Morgan home with the step-father and didn't mention having to go to work at all. I would have changed my mind or atleast made sure the sleep over took place in our home.

Unfortunately Morgan will not be going to this house again. Sleepovers with this friend will only take place at our house. I now understand why you really must have a good idea of what your children's friends home lives are like before you allow your child to spend time in their house.

I know this is a bit of a controversial post but I hope I strike a cord with my fellow mommies and daddies out there. Do some digging...who knows...it might make all the difference. Morgan was not in mortal danger but her lungs were affected and she DID watch the R rated movie because they LET them! Ugh! I'm just so disappointed by this event.

No apologies for seeming judgmental here...this is what we, as parents worry about. It's not okay for our kids to go into houses where they are exposed to things that we do not allow them to be exposed to in our own home. I will spare you the remainder of Dan's description of the home but know that it played a large part in how we will handle things going forward.

I am still learning and each time something like this happens I learn more about how to handle things and what exactly to do, like get the phone number up front, make sure you have gotten to know the parents not just the child, know where the home they are going to is located and what time you will be picking up/dropping off before hand. These all seem basic but you have to remember after years of parenting a sick child I am just learning how to parent a child with no health limitations. I'm a little scared, I must admit!

It's a tough world out there and we need to keep our eyes and ears open at all times.