Richard Pryor

This morning as I was scanning my news feed on FB I realized that I have SOOOO much to write about but most of it must remain contained for self-preservation. If I were to really haul off and rant on this blog the way I rant in my head every single day I would likely really piss some people off. In my mind it seems like comedy, an error of comedies really.

I happen to swear A LOT and yes, I realize this does not shock many of you and yes, I realize that swearing is a sure sign of ignorance since my mind cannot wrap itself around intelligent words in place of the MANY cuss words I choose to use instead. I do have a filter and use it regularly. In my profession I must, at home I must, at most every family function I must, in front of my father (most days) I must, etc, etc, etc. I do have SOME respectable qualities. Most of my respectable qualities are glued firmly in place with my mother's words from the MN State Fair after witnessing two teenagers groping, practically dry humping on the curb..."Rachel, honey there is a time and a place for everything...don't ever forget that!" I never have.

When I choose to swear I can hear in my mind the times when I was a child and Richard Pryor would be on TV for some stand up routine or another (this was RIGHT after cable TV came out) and every other word was profane. I remember clear as a bell my mother's words "That is just filth, that man has nothing funny to say, it's all just filth!" Ahhhh...yes mother, wouldn't you be proud of your baby girl now since I think the word FUCK is just so fulfilling to say sometimes! It really serves so many purposes on any given day!

So, beyond inappropriate language are my thoughts of "Holy Shitballs! Some people are the whiniest, Debbie downer, no social filter, incredibly strange people!" Why then, do you ask, are they my friends on FB? Well...you ALL know how that goes! You don't unfriend someone from FB without the backlash of hell that comes with it. If you can easily do it without anyone noticing because they weren't really anyone that should have been on there to begin with...well, that's no problem. If they are someone that would absolutely notice...it's just taboo! This whole social network etiquette thing has got me losing my mind!

I am quite sorry you aren't feeling well, friend and that you're husband lost his job and is looking...networking is great in my opinion. Lord how I can relate that your kids are making you crazy today and the baby was up all night. I empathize with your insomnia and how much you detest Monday mornings. Work is overwhelming and I will always pray for you whenever you ask and for whatever you ask. However, while eating my Cheerios and perusing FB I don't really feel so good knowing that you have been shitting your brains out and puking everywhere for days on end. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I am sorry that you have ended a relationship and I will be there to encourage you because I honestly care when people aren't having an easy time. You, hey you! Over there in FB land...I don't need to know that you did the walk of shame this morning after suffering a small lapse of drunken black out last night! WOW! Aren't you like 40 now? I don't need to know you are suffering from cramps, etc. I enjoy your drunken pictures where you look as though you've pissed yourself and are having epileptic seizures when in reality it was your b-day and you were just out for a "Great birthday last night! Had SO much fun! Thanks to all my peeps!" Holy moly rocky...the funny shit I can pull from FB every morning at 6:00 a.m. to get me feeling pretty good about my day ahead.

My disclaimer of course is that I have posted crazy, stupid, depressing, unfiltered, raging, loonatic type status updates as well. If you should choose to shove them down my throat after reading this blog...try and remember...this is just my FOR FUN writing. It's not meant for any one person, I do not call people out in a subtle manner such as this...I come direct with that shit! Have a laugh...enjoy the read and don't get your undies in a bunch!