Dance, Easter and tractors!

It's the height of DANCE season. Four of the kids are in dance this year and one is dancing competitively. This means...practices, extra practices, hair, make-up, fake lashes, dance shoes, painting dance shoes, costumes galore, pictures, rehearsals, recitals...and then...parties and yet one more competition in June. I am very much looking forward to July and August when we can all take a small breather, enjoy the pool, family and relaxation without the running back and forth for all things dance.

I must say that my husband is a gosh darn wizard when it comes to painting cars...he likes to be modest but I know damn well that no one on this planet is as much of a perfectionist when it comes to painting a vehicle as he is. I did know this when I married him...what I didn't know is that he can paint tap shoes just as well.

Note the metallic/sports car looking paint he used. I think these tap shoes are fancier than my vehicle! I know Nick will love them and especially because they got painted at Daddy's work (his favorite place to go and pretend he can do everything Dad can do).

Thrown in among dance we had a lovely Easter Sunday with some of Dan's family. Nick got a sporty new fedora hat and he was rockin' it.

Of course he would have dropped this hat in an instant for the Twins baseball cap that Gramma gave him. I love the look of my boys and this is one of those perfect looks like he's from the early 1900s and I just want to squeeze him!

All of this took back seat to his tractor ride later in the afternoon with his cousin Richard. There is simply nothing better than tractors.

Change...

Come back soon for changes courtesy of Jenn at Munchkinland Designs! I am working on a new look for my blog, something fresh and cozy and fun to reflect my personality and to inspire my writing even more. I am also working on a new name for my blog!

Any ideas to help me out...I'm welcome to feedback. The name I have chosen already is great but it is too long and not very catchy...doesn't hit my heart the way it should.

I am thinking:
Perez Party of Eight
Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

I would love to hear your ideas. Help a sister out!

I am really looking forward to continuing to write and laugh and hopefully inspire others! Thank you for hanging out with me while I work through my glitches!

Have a happy Thursday!

Maryah's Tuesdays!

Disclaimer:

In an effort to be true to myself I must also write posts that include a HUGE part of me...my daughter, Maryah. These posts will sometimes be funny but most times they come at a time when my heart aches and I must write about her and share her with the world. If you don't feel up to tears...maybe check back another day! :) Thanks.

I have noticed in the world of blogging that there are many who "label" different days of the week. "Wordless Wednesdays, Post-It Tuesdays" and I like it. I have yet to figure out what each day will be but today I have decided that Tuesdays will be Maryah's day. I suppose that this is the case simply because today I am missing her more than the normal (which is A LOT).

I suppose most mommy blogs don't dedicate a day of each week to one of their kids only but this is a special case and I still need to write about Maryah because it is a very important part of my being.

Most of you following know Maryah and know her story well (www.caringbridge.org/mn/maryah). Some of you do not, so let me explain why Maryah gets a day of this blog all to herself. Maryah is my 16 (17 on May 7th) year old daughter. She was diagnosed at age nine with Ewing's Sarcoma. This is a rare form of bone cancer with no cure, no sure fire treatments and a poor prognosis. Although we were told we probably didn't have a lot of time, Maryah proved the medical professionals and all the doubters wrong. She lived for six and a half more joy filled, wonderful, full years before she passed away last May 15th. This is a kid who when the Oncologist told her she would die within months asked for a pen and paper to make a "bucket list" and let me tell you, it was quite the list. She accomplished almost every single item on it! What a kid!

Tonight I am sitting here late, unable to sleep because I miss her terribly and wish I could see her smile and hear her laugh about the stupid shit I write about on here. Only she knows the rest of the kids as well as Dan and I do. She made each of us better because she knew us so well.

So, a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine was discussing a co-worker who lost her son a few years back. She asked her son for a "penny from heaven". This woman got her penny, she was very excited. So, my friend did the same. She lost her son a couple of years ago and has been experiencing some rough times in life so she asked her son to do the same for her, send her a "penny from heaven". She got her penny and she shared these stories with tears in her eyes. She knew I would understand the great significance of this act. So...I thought out loud "Maryah, I KNOW you are with me every moment of every day but if you see fit could you please send me a "penny from heaven". Now, Maryah likes to mess with me, always has...so there was nothing...no friggin' penny and I was getting frustrated. Everyone else gets signs, everyone else sees her in dreams, whatever...why not me? Apparently she is still trying to help me learn patience. Two days later we were at the dance studio for a make-up class that Nick needed to attend. Dan and I were sitting in the exact same spot we always sit each week to watch the kids practice. It's where Maryah and I sat each time we visited the studio together when she wasn't dancing (which wasn't often). There is a small plastic bench facing the windows to the dance classroom. I occasionally use the window ledge to house my cup of coffee on Saturday mornings. After being there for a bit and talking to the teacher, talking to Dan, running my mouth...I looked over at the window ledge and there is was... a single penny. I snatched it up and Dan looked at me strangely and I tried to explain but I was so excited I couldn't quite get the story across without sounding mildly insane. MY PENNY! She sent me a PENNY. Just for me...Ry and Mom...forever and ever Amen!

I miss her so and I would give a gazillion pennies to hold her for even a moment more.

Mommy loves you baby girl...goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...only the strawberry, chocolate and pumpkin ones!

Grocery Shopping. Why do we do it to ourselves?

It's Sunday and we've picked this morning from our busy weekend to make our weekly trip to the grocery store. This is something that is normally considered a luxury for me because I get to go alone while all the kids stay home with Dan. Yay for me!

However, today we decided to take the boys and go together on the way home from running other errands. This would be a time saver right? Never mind that Daniel Jr. was really overdue for his nap and Nicholas has turned into the million question a day maniac! Are we going to the grocery store? How do we get there? Which grocery store? Do they have the blue race car cart? Do they have a bathroom? Do they have food there? Where is the grocery store? Are we going to the grocery store now? OMFG! I almost threw myself out of the truck on the freeway into oncoming traffic for goodness sake! It would have been less painful than enduring Nicholas' rant.

Once in the grocery store I have a list, I search the coupons because I work my ass off to save our money to the last penny. This drives Dan Sr. nuts since it takes me about five minutes or so to scan both ads and tear out needed coupons. The list, none-the-less saves time because I break it up by area of the store (i.e. produce, dairy, meat, frozen, etc). Did I mention my mild case of OCD?

So, off we go...running from this to that to get each item on the list to support my menu of family friendly, holy shit are we eating this again, meals. We then encounter the cereal/fruit snack aisle. This is where shit goes seriously down hill. First, they have a mountain of Spaghettios at the end of this isle, one type has a picture of Dora the Explorer on the front and Nick sees it. OMG, you would have thought it was the only food he would get to eat all week the way he clung to that can (at least when grabbing it he didn't knock the entire mountain to the floor). He whined and begged and we gave in. Why not let the kid eat some fake, crappy, canned concoction of who knows what preservatives and other shit at least once in a blue moon? So he carried his can of Dora spaghettios proudly down the aisle until he got sight of the endless shelves of fruit snacks. Now, here is where the "why do we do it to ourselves?" part comes in.

Nick proceeded to grab a box of fruit snacks at his level, off the shelf, knocking about four other boxes to the floor. By the time this scene occurred Dan and I were already heading out of the aisle to proceed to the next area of our list. Nick decided to scream for us to stop and wait while whining and fake crying. I do the normal thing I do when our kids aren't paying attention to our requests to follow along and walk with us...I told him "bye Nick" and started to walk away prompting Dan to do the same.  Nick had already picked the boxes up and was just staring at the shelves longingly.

This my friends is when the couple in their 40s, possibly 50s was walking by near Nick giving Dan and I the looks of "aren't you just a horrible couple of fucking parents to treat your child that way". I ignored them as I do most people who don't have any idea or have simply forgotten how difficult it is to bring your pre-school aged children to the grocery store UNTIL...wait for it...UNTIL...they bent down to console our screaming, tantrum throwing, whiny son and helped him pick up the two new boxes he had thrown off the shelf onto the floor.

I started back down the aisle, glaring at the couple and asked politely that Nick say "thank you" for their "help".  They looked at me as though I was the spawn of Satan himself and told me "he was trying so hard to pick them up and he just couldn't when you were walking away". OMFG?! What did you just say? Have you never seen a child throw a tantrum? Have you never experienced this snafu in the grocery store before? Every mother/father in that store with a child was gritting his/her teeth threatening their children under their breath this morning (as only another parent can hear and appreciate). Am I the only one who gets these morons that give me a guilt trip because I have some how screwed up my child's future completely by walking away from him while he was having a tantrum in a public place? Did they think I was actually going to leave him by himself in the middle of the grocery store while I went about my merry way? What in the heck do these people honestly have going through their head? Holy moly rocky did they piss me off!

Nick proceeded to whine his way through the grocery store, opening and slamming freezer case doors, grabbing and throwing products this way and that...he is the child my mother hoped for me to have. The one that would help me understand all she went through with me. God help us!

I am going to the grocery store alone from now on!

Innocent until proven guilty?

Each morning I wake at 5:00 a.m.ish. I sluggishly get up, get the boys ready to fly out the door with Dan by 6:15 a.m. so I can get girls ready and out the door and head out to work. For the past several months we have had an "awakening" of sorts in our yard/house. The flippin' box elder bugs are awake.

In the Midwest we have this problem in some neighborhoods of box elder bugs. They are small, black and red bugs that resemble a cock roach (to me any way) and they have to be crunched (literally) or suffocated in order to kill them. They are resistant to many bug killing pesticides and really unless you walk around spraying them directly with soapy water they will outlive nuclear radiation and the end of the world, of this I am positive.

So, now that Minnesota is beginning to thaw out and we've even reached a couple of days in the 70s the damn bugs are back! They "hibernate" in the soffit of your house and then when they warm up they come INSIDE...yes...INSIDE! INSIDE the goddam house! Can you believe this? The nerve! So after they come inside they look for warm spots (and yes this includes people). Mine tend to hang out on the big windows on the South Eastern side of the house where it is sunny most of the day. They hang out and improve their Vitamin D intake on my damn windows. Well...when it gets dark they start to migrate their way to my kitchen. This is long and treacherous journey for some. They have to avoid areas where they can be seen by Izzie (dumb dog) because she tries to eat them, discovers they are horrible and spits them out thousands of paces away from where they need to be to get to the kitchen. When Izzie doesn't see them I do and I call for Nick, the bug slayer (he really loves this new Nickname and takes his job very seriously). Nick comes running, grabs the bug with his fingers, crunches it and throws it in the garbage, after he chases his screaming sisters around the house with it of course. Now that's some funny shit, watching them run like sissies screaming from a three year old holding a bug. They sure do give him some power.

Sometimes the box elder does in fact make it to it's original destination, the kitchen sink, where I keep a light on above all night (for the sake of children who get up to use the bathroom and the occasional night time bottle that must be carted upstairs for the screaming baby (that's a whole different post). They will bask in the warmth radiating from that kitchen light for the night.

In the morning, as I said above, when I fall out of bed at 5:00 a.m. I am a little grumpy most mornings until I get going. Of course when I see these cock roach resembling, disgusting bugs in and around my sink and clean dishes I freak the hell out!

This is where my questionable behavior comes in... is it considered murder when you very intentionally grab the bottle of foaming hand soap and pump just enough out to cover that nasty little bastard so you can watch it frantically start flailing all of it's legs and after about a minute slowly start twitching because it is suffocating to death? Even worse, is it premeditated murder because I will actually take the moment out of my hectic morning to watch and enjoy this slow and torturous death?

I am unsure but I believe if put into a court of the bugs peers I would be gettin' FRIED today! There would be no last meal, no last rights, no phone calls or visits...straight to the chair with me. If you have ever seen the movie, The Green Mile when the asshole cop doesn't wet the sponge for the inmates head before they fry him and the inmate gets all smoky and it smells like burnt flesh...I'm pretty sure that's the treatment I would get from fellow box elder bugs.

Guilty? Maybe. Ashamed. Not at all!

Good day and happy box elder hunting.

Shop Talk

Today I was approached at work by a woman who is the mother of two children who attend the same daycare as my two boys. She informed me that her two daughters thought it extremely funny that while playing with tools my oldest son, Nick was walking around the house saying "little fuckers".

I learned a number of months ago that in the garage, while "building" with Dad Nick was given permission to say such words with freedom...but ONLY while in the garage and NOT in front of Mom or others. I learned this because while hammering away on a shelf his father was building, Nick yells "goddam it" and I had to stifle my laugh because let's face it, it's kind of funny when little kids swear.

This is all carried over from previous conversations Dan and I have had about not swearing in front of the kids. This conversation occurred shortly after we were sitting in our Suburban at the stoplight and Nick pipes in from the back seat "GO Bitch!" WHAT? I looked over at Dan and he was looking out the window with a nervous look on his face. We have now trained Nick to say "Go Mouse!"...much more appropriate for car rides with Grandma and others who might not appreciate our choice of colorful terminology.

I must say that I truly enjoy using the swear words I learned from my older brother and I will continue to use them. My kids will some day be able to understand that they are really only supposed to do as I say and not as I do. Isn't that what we were taught as children?

So, Nick stopped saying little fuckers after his daycare provider stopped snickering and calmly educated him on appropriate language. I just laugh...it gets me through the day!

You Can't Make This Shit Up!

The past few years of my life I have been "journaling" in a very different format. I have been updating my eldest daughter's Caring Bridge web page. Maryah battled Ewings Sarcoma, a rare bone cancer, for just over six years. She was diagnosed by her pediatrician January 5, 2004 when she was just nine years old. Maryah won her battle with cancer a week after her sixteenth birthday and she passed away in my arms on the morning of May 15, 2010. The journaling wasn't the same. It was too hard to continue to be "proper" and full of the age old cliche's which everyone expects from a parent with a child who has passed. 


I have been threatening to write a book for years and I swore to baby Jesus that the name of my book would be "You Can't Make This Shit Up!" That is what my life has been from a young age on...you simply can't make this shit up...the good, the bad and the random (as a dear friend/sister and fellow blogger says). 


I am greatly satisfied to have finally joined the world of blogging after long months of contemplation. I am equally as satisfied that I put together some random template that is a little cheesy (after seeing the quality designs that are out there) and that I haven't ripped my hair out, had an anxiety attack or a small fit because I started posting before having this shit exactly as I want it. I am a bit of a control freak and possibly have a tish of OCD. Not sure, but I think it's possible.


I think it's going to be a hell of a lot of fun to be real, to be myself and to blog on the things that happen in my day-to-day life without having to make sure I am being politically correct because 1000 people a day from all over the world, whom I don't even know are reading and judging my every word. I can swear, I can talk about the realities of life as a mom of all these friggen kids and the wife to a god damn perfect husband...he makes me sort of ill some days!


There is so much more to come and I cannot wait to share and to continue reading blogs of other fun moms I know and have found in this fantastic world of blogging. 


So...here is where we begin. To follow or not to follow...I hope you come along for the ride. It's bound to give you some laughs!